Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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