We're facebook friends in real life
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
