Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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