She is in my trunk
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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