This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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