addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
