so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
