I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
please don't ironically join a cult
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