I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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