you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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