thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
