Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
