Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize