I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Small penises have feelings too.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
