somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize