I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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