i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
