I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Terrible idea I love it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
