Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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