She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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