Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
