"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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