I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
