My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize