Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
