I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
