I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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