I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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