And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize