I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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