Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
