What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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