is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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