The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
