Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
