Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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