Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
