the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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