My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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