I CAN MOONWALK!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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