I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
