ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
