Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
