My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Randomize