would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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