we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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