I'm going to jail i love you
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
