just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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