I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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