Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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