I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
