its not stalking. its research.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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