At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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