...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
