peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
