i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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