Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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