Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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