dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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