i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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