false alarm. still invincible.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
