There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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