How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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