She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
