spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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