Pappa wants mamma naked
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
