I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
